Scientists have revealed that surnames are the biggest influence, in a person becoming a comedian. Conducting 2 hours of research on wikipdeia, the Sun newspaper and watching the comedy awards. The believe your surname can pre-determine if you are funny.
Prof Gerard McGarry said " I notice the name Kaye is very popular with comedians, such as Paul Kaye, Peter Kay and Danny Kaye. Brand is shared by Jo, Katy and that dirty foul mouthed tramp Russell.
"Allen is a extremley popular name with Woody, Grace, Steve, Dave and Tim. Lets not also Forget Alan Partridge in this list. This is more than a coincidence, the statistics confirm, I am right. It is a scientific fact. If you needed any more evidence, you are a complete shit, who needs to cast your eyes towards the gingered-headed Lucille Ball and the curly-headed, braces-wearing, northern comic, Bobby Ball".
Prof McGarry stated this phenomena is also see in musicians citing Elvis Presley and Elvis Costello as more conclusive proof.
Comic and part-time political leader Gordon Brown, who shares his name with fellow comedians, Faith, Janet and Roy Chubby said he "welcomed the news"
"Jimmy and Alan Carr are not brothers, but they are both wankers" added a bitter scientist.