Written by Skews Me
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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

image for Paint the halls with learning brain cells
Head's up displays are only one feature of the Live Mach series

(Seattle) University of Washington's C-9 Live Mach 1 Telescreen more than lives up to its name in sophistication.

Applied as paint, the inexpensive video display Live processors incorporate multi-spectrum cameras, HyperSonic Sound, and neural network processors driven by living tissue capable of learning complex tasks including intruder identification and notification.

C-9 Live's architecture breaths dimensions into computer interfacing as never before imagined. "It's Wii on steroids," says lead developer Skews Me in today's press release.

"It's living, breathing, hearing, seeing, thinking paint; where new layers develop social relationships and nurture the previous coats in ways most people can't possibly imagine!

"And the critters are having more fun doing it than any human has been doing on this planet."

Three-dimensional scanning maintains accurate representations of any local objects within a room while recording the highest quality graphical and audio representations of bodily movements in real time.

Developers of the remote-controlled fruit fly and human brain implant technologies, Charter Industrial Applications, has announced talks with the school to develop additional applications of the interactive paint.

Online interactive pornography sensation Deep Into It Productions has already begun several feature environments based around the wetware's potential.

Activist Ashley White expressed grave concerns that such a potent weapon might fall into the hands of an enemy power.

"Is it any wonder that a powerhouse location in our beautiful Pacific Northwest might develop what could eliminate privacy forever?"

Skews Me retorted in an interview with The Spoof, "I don't know how many gods believe in how many other gods, but there is more to life than biological existence."

Copyright © 2008, Skews Me

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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