Written by Bullshot Bill
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Science, evolution

Monday, 28 February 2011

image for Science Admits Evolution Theory Wrong
Dr. Feelgood; "I knew it all along.".

Scientists at the WITSALTA convention in Denver, Colorado, U.S. of A., today agreed that the theory of evolution has been debunked (that doesn't mean kicked out of bed though).

Delegates to the WITSALTA (What Is This All Stuff Leading To Anyway) conference, organised by The Church Of We Are Right (COWAR), heard a detailed explanation of the fact (not theory) of Intelligent Design, and had no option but to cede the major points of the argument.

While conventional science could only offer reason, facts and observation in support of evolution theory, COWAR experts presented conclusive evidence which showed that someone up there did it.

Some of the facts tendered by COWAR were irrefutable, including, but not limited to; how does evolution theory account for the following: Birth defects, Aids, Cancer, Hate, War, Flood, Famine, Earthquake, Storm, Poverty, Disease, Greed.

Can science prove that these are simply random act of nature? If not, then whence did they come?

COWAR contended that the lack of scientific knowledge of the origins of these phenomena proves that they are the acts of a loving God.

Palaeontologists attending the conference were reminded that Satan had planted all fossils on the Earth to confuse the mind of man, so that no truth could be extrapolated from these records, and confirming that the Earth is only 4000 years old.

DNA records were also proven to be worthless when it was pointed out that DNA stood for Devil's Nasty Alternative.

Christian Fundamentalists attending the Conference say that they had no unique input into the outcome, but rejoice in the fact that they have always been right.

Dr. Jeremiah Q. Feelgood, Covener of COWAR, said in an interview after the Conference; "Mffgfnsattr horetdsscja nhs whhhdsw". Dr. Feelgood's statement may have had more impact if his head hadn't been so far up his arse.

Make Bullshot Bill's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

2 6 12 25

Go to top