CALCUTTA - Local officials announced that not only was aspartame safe for infants, but that all nursing would be made illegal so that formula containing 1% aspartame by weight, after mixing with water, would be the only food legal to feed infants under one year of age.
"We know it is a departure from normal culture in India, but we feel that it is best for everyone.", said Kamir Littecid, of the government food agency.
"Anyway, we will be sending representatives of the local aspartame factory around door to door to enforce this new law. I see you have a baby there sir; here, try some of this new green formula.."
At this point I ran for the airport.