Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Aspartame

Saturday, 22 November 2008

image for Scientists say Aspartame? No Worries.
My Son won't Need this anymore soon. "Have some more, Billy!"

Austin Ate - Scientists say today that aspartame is the most studied drug added to food, and to STOP WORRYING about it. Scientists also say that if you do eat enough of it you will top worrying about it.. and everything else thanks to the methalol hit.

It's also safe for kids. Sure, we have had some kids getting strange brain disorders since it was made legal, but there are plenty of other drugs to counteract the effects of aspartame, so why worry. Besides, it's good for the economy to spend a lot of moneny on drugs.

Scientists also say that is good to die young. Why? Old people don't have any fun anyway.. and they are useless eaters.

So, have an extra helping of astpartame today; it also kills pain.. and the nerves that convey it.

Hooked on it? Don't worry.. it's a self limiting condition. Soon, you'll be resting peacefully, hard though it is to imagine.. hard to imagine anything with a head full of aspartame, so don't worry.. Just have some more, kids!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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