Singapore - (X-Files Mess): The Pentagon hinted today that potent quark-like emissions from an experimental relativistic quantum field project at a secret US/Australian naval communications base were being blamed for a sudden Qantas Airbus jet dive last month that injured scores of passengers.
The classified marine facility specialises in the manipulation of elementary fermions and unusual experimentation with antisymmetric wavefunction activity.
A sub-atomic particle wave glitch apparently occurred at the exact moment that the jumbo flew overhead.
The airliner had been cruising at 37,000 feet not far from the base on October 7 when it suddenly gained altitude before plummeting more than 20,000 feet in less than a minute.
"At least it wasn't that damned pesky UFO that downed The Rev Sun Myung Moon's chopper in August!" A Qiantarse Airways source commented.