Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): NASA scientists have launched a highly complex, modified Large Hardon Collider to create the world's first ever black hole stimulator.
The revolutionary BlackMax can alter a black hole's spinning capacities and increase the friction of its mass so that it is dissipated as 'gravitons-elementary quanta of gravity' (if the jargon is to be believed).
The equipment is also helping spaced-out studies at the ATLAS Experiment HQ where black hole decay is the spécialité de la maison.
"The ultimate goal is to find wormholes that permit space/time manipulation," NASA's Prof V Smart said today.
"We know the bastards are out there somewhere! And the person who first captures one will be able to bend time/space so much they will become Ultimate Master of the Universe."
Buzz Aldrin is 102.