Written by queen mudder

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Topics: Space, black hole

Monday, 10 November 2008

image for Scientists create BlackMax black hole stimulator
Potentially there could be billions of space/time wormholes out there somewhere

Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): NASA scientists have launched a highly complex, modified Large Hardon Collider to create the world's first ever black hole stimulator.

The revolutionary BlackMax can alter a black hole's spinning capacities and increase the friction of its mass so that it is dissipated as 'gravitons-elementary quanta of gravity' (if the jargon is to be believed).

The equipment is also helping spaced-out studies at the ATLAS Experiment HQ where black hole decay is the spécialité de la maison.

"The ultimate goal is to find wormholes that permit space/time manipulation," NASA's Prof V Smart said today.

"We know the bastards are out there somewhere! And the person who first captures one will be able to bend time/space so much they will become Ultimate Master of the Universe."

Buzz Aldrin is 102.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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