FORT KMOCKS, KY - UDDATE 1 - Scientists discovered bacteria that are solely attacking executives of large corporations.
Strangely, these bacteria select those who have already quit their job, who worked for companies which have lead to losing billions of dollars, and from which they have collected huge golden parachutes as they left.
First cases of the new ailment were traced to executives of AIG. It is thought that these bacteria may have spread amongst those bathing in wine using tubs where due diligence had not been observed.
The bacteria, psuedobonus aureus are Graham negative. Like all aureus strains, the bacteria have a golden sheen. The bacteria seem similar in form to those that attack dead corpses. Prognosis is not good.
Infections are spreading despite the administration of billions of dollars worth of Corruptocillin - in fact the bacteria seem to thrive on it.
This just in.. it seems a dose of one ounce of aspartame per day cure the affliction after about a week.. but the condition is terminal.