Written by Warren Redlich
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Saturday, 25 October 2008

image for Nude Versus Naked: Hard Science
Nude or naked under the towel?

Which is hotter - nude or naked? A multi-disciplinary and multinational group of scientists is investigating this crucial question.

The effort, funded by Playboy Magazine and TheSpoof.com, aims to examine how human beings confront these two terms that represent unclothed individuals. "It's important for things like how we choose our headlines and tag lines for our covers," said Playboy CEO Christie Hefner. TheSpoof honcho Mark Lowton noted the same issues play out on the web: "A story like Sarah Palin Nude might do well in some circumstances, while Sarah Palin Naked might do poorly. We need to know why!"

The scientific enterprise includes a crack team of proctologists, the world's most cunning linguists, urologists who've been showered with golden awards, and some economists too. "The economists are no fun, but they can be useful," said lead scientist Nude Naked.

The linguistic team reported some early results, indicating that nude works best with middle-aged women in politically oriented situations, while naked tends to work better with younger women in the entertainment field. However, the urologists say the linguists are coming prematurely to their climactic conclusions.

Al Gore offered his assistance with the climactic problems, but then realized it was not about the climate, so he went back to his heated pool. There is no word on whether Gore swims nude, or naked, and no one really wants to know.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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