In a new development, the Large Hadron Collider has shed new light on the mystery surrounding Elvis Presley's hotly debated death or continued low profile existence.
The collider provided valuable information on Friday that indicated Elvis may in fact be residing on a distant star named Cannis Stupenda. The canine reference in the title is ironic given Elvis' penchant for hot dogs that contributed to his expanded waistline before his imminent demise 30 years ago.
How Elvis Presley arrived at the astronomic location is now the focal point of much gossip and inuendo, not surprising when you realise that people haven't stopped talking about him for 50 years.
In time, scientists predict, mankind will travel to the stars and have close encounters with Elvis who, due to warped time and space, will still be alive and chowing down on burgers much the same as when he was here on planet Gracelands.