Written by Reuman Frijj
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Tuesday, 30 September 2008

A leading cancer research charity has blamed its dramatic fall in revenue on Big Brother racist Jade Goody.

Goody, 27, was diagnosed with cancer just over a month ago whilst appearing on India's Big Brother programme. Since the airing of Miss Goody's Diary Room diagnosis six weeks ago, the charity has claimed that donations have all but dried up.

A spokesperson said "It seems people are not willing to part with their cash, at the risk it may end up in the hands of Jade Goody's doctors."

Leading experts in the field have warned to cancer research charities that they must assure the public that their donations will not be spent on Miss Goody's treatment.

Prof Lottie Payne, head of the Cancer Research Laboratory at the University of Lower Barnstable, said "The public can sleep soundly tonight in the knowledge that we are a long way off finding a cure for cancer." She later said that the idea of sharing any developments in fighting cancer with those associated with Miss Goody was "preposterous".

In these times of financial turmoil, supporters of Marie Cure are emphasising the importance of national hate figures staying tumour-free.

As one avid supporter explained, "As horrifying as it sounds, in this current economic climate, it is imperative we pray for good health for the likes of Jade Goody, and even the likes of Kerry Katona"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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