Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Murder, Annoying

Monday, 29 September 2008

image for Man dies of Pedantry
No, Sir, I am right this time.......Nurse, quick, the screens

A Man has died in the small village of Washington Smythe, for being Pedantic. The chap was too interested in little details and being right all of the time, that a number of his friends formed a firing squad.

Andy Pandy, a friend of the unnamed man, but believed to be a backbench MP said: 'Eight of us formed a shooting party. We had eight guns, 7 blanks and 1 bullet, and shot him. He really was that bad. He just had to be right about everything, and after a while you just want him to stop. We never meant to shoot him dead. We just want to vent our spleen'

A Coroner's report showed that the man had actually died before he was shot, from a case of 'Neverbeingabletobewrong'. Dr Jones said: 'It is a rare disease I will give you that, but nevertheless, he had it. It just so happens that some people have to be right about everything, and if they are proven to be wrong, their nervous system just cannot take it. Apparently, he was arguing with someone that 'I can't believe it is not butter' was actually butter. I mean, is that the type of thing to risk your life over'.

An inscription on the man's gravestone reads: 'Here lies Mr Pedantry. I can't believe he's not better'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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