GENEVA (FMLiveWire) -- The world's newest and biggest particle accelerator the Large Hadron Collider was wrecked by a miniature black hole it created and will not begin operations again until April, officials at CERN revealed this week.
The machine is built to smash protons together near the speed of light to create a Big Bang and black holes which might destroy the Earth and the solar system, they also revealed. Two weeks ago CERN sent the first beams of protons around the machine's 17-mile-long underground circle.
"A little black hole we made gobbled up some of the collider equipment and caused an electrical short and helium leak," chortled Dr. Ludwig Demento, a project scientist. "Gosh, isn't this fun?"
Superconducting electromagnets steer the protons and liquid helium cools the magnets to very low temperatures near absolute zero.
To make repairs, it is necessary to warm the magnets up and then cool them back down again, which takes months.
Demento stated that the little black hole has likely drifted into the Earth's core where it is "still devouring stuff." He mentioned that a few CERN scientists were also missing and may be inside the black hole too.
"I hope those guys are ok," he added.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire