Written by Paul Deacon
Print this
Topics: Kids, childhood, Adults

Thursday, 6 December 2001

image for Adults' Childhoods
I'm really 45

A new report published this morning has discovered that adults are enjoying longer childhoods than at any time in the past. At the same time children are having to grow up quicker than ever.

Around 75' of adults aged 18-35 still enjoy nursery rhymes, although these are marketed as rap music. The report also found 27' of adults still enjoy crayoning on walls, fences and stationary lorries. As many as 33' throw a regular tantrum behind the wheel of the car and a massive 87' of adults aged 18-26 surveyed at 11pm outside the Rose & Crown dribble, vomit, poo their pants and cannot walk and talk.

The report, compiled by researchers Delite Touche also found that 79' of children aged 7 were grown-up and already actively looking at mortgages, saving plans and Argos catalogues.

The report's writers were unavailable for interview as they had become shy, wanting to suck on their favourite toys and so had lit up cigarettes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Related Stories...


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 4?

2 12 8 17
121 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more