Written by Dr Will C U Now
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Tuesday, 23 September 2008

image for New renewable fuel source trialled
This way for fuel processing.

Professor Hugh Jarse the top UK scientist revealed today that a new renewable fuel source was now one step closer to mass production.

"It has taken many years of research and thousands of pounds of investment but I believe we now have an energy source for the future." said Professor Jarse.

"We are now one step closer to mass producing fuel derived from pensioners. This will have the positive side effect of reducing the amount of pensioners around claiming pensions and driving slowly." Continued the bespectacled boffin.

Research in the late seventies revealed that when people reach 65 years of age their body/oil ratio reaches it's optimum levels making them highly combustible. It has taken more than 30 years too find an economic and humane way to extract the oil.

"In the end we just didn't bother finding a humane way to do the task." Said Prof. Hugh Jarse.

Pension power converter stations are likely to be sited around the coast of Britain, with Eastbourne expected to unveil the prototype later this year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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