Mr Lawrence, a simple man of simple minds has devoted his life to proving that sightings of UFO's go up when more people have been drinking.
The 40 year old told us: 'I have it on good authority from Xenon, my Alien buddy that more people see UFO's drunk, than they do when they are sober. It stands to reason, really, when you think about. Alcohol broadens the Mind, so people do tend to be receptive to the outside world and the paranormal when they are of their heads on drink. Of course, I am a Tea-Totaller, so I never see UFO's, but I do see Xenon, which is more than most people do'.
Mr Lawrence is currently single. PC Plod, from the local constabulary said: 'We do tend to get more sightings of UFO's report at Christmas, and during the summer, but we feel it is much more likely that people want to hide a regret by reporting something that is bigger than themselves. Why not make something like this up? I would rather have a memory of a sighting of a UFO after a work do than remembering an awkward few minutes in the Photocopying room'