Written by Ben Macnair
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Wednesday, 17 September 2008

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No Monsters in Monster Munch. First you tell me the President does not exist, and now this.......

Scientists in Minnesota have proven beyond almost all doubt that Monster Munch actually contains no Monster.

Mike Geek from the Institute of undeniable Facts said: 'We thought Monster Munch contained Monster, or at least trace elements of them. No, though, they don't, or at least we don't think they do. We have no captive monsters with which to compare them, but we are roughly 99.9 per cent sure that there are no Monsters in Monster Munch. We were hoping to prove so many kids in England right, but sorry kids, add it to those other disappointments in life, like there being no Bacon in Frazzles crisp, and life not being like the movie. Believe you me, the meek don't inherit the earth, good guys never come first, and none of this means anything'

We left Mr Geek to it, carrying on other experiments in order to validate his life and his experience.

'It is felt that Monster Munch in Greek and Roman times contained Monsters, but when all of the monsters were slain, it was felt that the name and the brand was too well known to change it' said a Man we asked on the Tube. It was Smarties tube, so we are not taking his opinion at face value.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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