In breaking news today it was revealed that alcohol was the answer to all the worlds problems.
Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse said today, "I have been trying to find all sorts of answers to all sorts of problems when I just had enough."
"I drank 5 cans of Stella Artois and nothing mattered anymore" continued Professor Jarse.
His published results revealed that after 6 or more cans he became more handsome, women looked more attractive, he could drive much faster and became incredibly hilarious.
Side effects also noted included a tendancy for violence, extreme nausea and the smell of stale piss.
"The side effects, although extreme, can be easily removed by another session on the lash."said Professor Jarse.