Councillor Fezziwig Baron III from Tring has launched a scathing attack on Mother Nature.
The controversial buffoon wishes to ban Autumn from his constituency, and has banned all hibernating animals from sleep, and has said that trees dropping their leaves will face the strictest punishments of being chopped down for fire-wood.
The Councillor told us: 'Yes, it is true, I wish to ban Autumn from my constituency, and I plan to heavily tax anything that breaks these new rulings. I feel that Autumn is a totally unnecessary part of the year, and we can live without it. I feel that if the country went straight from Summer into Winter, we would need less of a lot of things'
A spokesman for the opposition said: 'I have never heard such poppycock in all of my life. Everyone knows that Winter should be banned, and if the greenhouse effect that we support gets it own way, only old people will remember winter. Now, if you could excuse me, I have a Fox to hunt to death'