The long awaited particle accelerator thingy on the France Swiss border is to be activated by the Krankies it was announced today.
A spokesman announced 'We had a number of options for people we wanted to switch on the Doomsday experiment. People we considered included someone who was kicked off Big Brother series three who up to now had only been switching on Xmas lights in Wolverhampton. We had considered 70 s DJ Diddy David Hamilton and even a bloke who used to read the weather on East Anglian Television'
In the end the honour of ending the world by creating a series of mini black holes went to the much loved and popular Scottish funsters.
'Given the perverse nature of the human condition, we thought it only right that a man who likes to see his wife dress as a schoolboy should be involved in ending mankind as we know it' said a very important bearded man.
Commemorative tea towels marking the event will be available at all leading shops from Thursday.