Dayton, Ohio (IPP) - The next solar cycle was assigned the number 24 but has been canceled by the International Astronomical Union (IAU). Scientists were able to predict that this cycle would have been 30% to 50% stronger than the previous solar cycle and it would have started a year later than previously thought.
Scientists have been unable to accurately predict the intensity of future solar cycles until recent times. All of that changed recently when the Predictive Flux-transport Model was developed and put into effect. This new method is thought to be 98% accurate.
Dr. Povenmire Finootch of the Mount Palomar Astronomical Campus and the senior legal representative of the IAU takes full responsibility for canceling the next solar cycle and has a black eye to show for it. He recently got into a scrap with the head of the North American Ham Radio League, Brent Brookski over the canceling of solar cycle 24. Dr. Finootch claims that the IAU has complete authority over anything related to the visible as well as the invisible portions of the electromagnetic spectrum.
Ham operators take advantage of the increase in solar electromagnetic activity by bouncing radio signals off of the ionosphere to each other in the form of radio waves which are transmited via upper and lower sideband and cw ( continous wave or morse code). When the solar cycle is in full swing it is possible for a Ham operator in North America to talk to his counterpart in New Zealand using a mere 5 watts.
Dr. Povenmire Finootch admits that he has a black eye but that nevertheless he had thoroughly throttled his opponent during a fist fight they had during the Gay Ham Operator's Convention (GHAC) in Key West last week. The two had become embroiled in a fierce argument over whether or not the IAU had any business sticking its nose into the business of Ham operators and this argument evolved into fisticuffs to the delight of nearby bar patrons.
Dr. Povenmire Finootch seemed to go over the edge when Brookski claimed that Dr. Finootch would not know the the difference between Ohm's Law vs Kepler's Law if it "bit him on the ass". Dr. Finootch replied, "Neither would you then !" Dr. Finootch did not realize that the Ham operator had a well concealed "hair lip" under his moustache and the Ham operator was equally unaware that Dr. Finootch had a wooden eye. The Ham operator had responded by saying, Woudn't I, Wouldn't I" to which Doctor Finootch had replied, " Hair lip, hair lip !" And thus the fight was on.