German researchers who are famous for being drunk on schnapps by noon encountered a creature in the Malaysian rain forest that could put them to shame. The little fella is called the pen-tailed shrew and it spends the whole day drinking fermented nectar from the betam palm tree.
"Hans and me have been staggering around like college kids at Octoberfest and these little guys have hoisted a twelve pack of palm nectar and they can still walk a straight tree vine!" Gunter Boozenheimer told thespoof.hiccup about the research experience he has shared with Hans Guzzleman.
"Hans and I have been getting trashed since the Berlin Wall went up or was it down...who can remember? But we have finally met our match. We have already received a grant from Spaten Bier Inc to see if we can duplicate the alcohol tolerance of these little buggers!"