Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 18 August 2008

image for Weston-Super-Mare Fire Investigators File Report
It's no laughing matter, mate!

Forensic experts investigating the devastating fire at Weston-Super-Mare which destroyed the Grand Pier, say the blaze was almost certainly caused by the unfortunate coming-together of three crucial elements - fuel, heat and oxygen.

The fire ravaged the pier and caused more than 30million lira of damage, money the local taxpayers can ill-afford to spend on a replacement pier.

A spokesman for Avon and Somerset Fire & Rescue, James Bladon, said:

"We've conducted an in-depth investigation of the site, and have come to the conclusion that the fire started when something or other got very hot, and this, together with a sufficient combined supply of oxygen and fuel, led to the big flames and intense heat generally known as 'a fire'."

Experts say the cause of this particular fire is similar to those of other fires such as the one in the movie The Towering Inferno (1974), starring Steve McQueen and Paul Newman, and may have been the same as that in The Great Fire Of London (1666).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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