From the titillating world of archaeological research Ancient Greece has yielded up some gems this week! Investigations into Roman Emperor Nero and his Olympic obsession in this dictatorial Olympic year revealed that the fiddler of Rome had the Greek Olympics postponed for his own convenience and then two years later participated in the chariot races, fell out of his cart and still had himself declared victor!
From the isle of Lesbos, incensed straight women and their closeted companions protested the use of the word Lesbian as a reference to ladies who like licking other ladies. Butch Kazantkakis, leader of the non-lesbians of Lesbos, demanded that the entire world stop calling Lesbians after her home island: "Just because that Sappho had an extreme girlie thing doesn't mean that damn straight lesbians like me should have to live with this ridiculous appellation!"
The protest was squelched by the 99% of Lesbos inhabitants who still like licking the ladies.