Written by ej moore
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Topics: Tennessee

Wednesday, 9 February 2005

image for Woman offers first-born child for Gmail account
Vida Mae wants Gmail.

TENNESSEE - Nashville resident Vida Mae Bakerstrue posted yesterday on GmailSwap.com that she would trade her first-born child for a Gmail invitation.

"Humphrey don't cause nothing but trouble anyways," Vida Mae told reporters. "I thought he'd grow out of that firebug thang but it's followed him into his twenties."

Humphrey Bakerstrue, the first-born in question, is a 23 year-old car wash attendant with a long police record for suspected arson.

"I never started any of them fires," he said. "I just like to watch."

Vida Mae is hoping for a Gmail account as soon as possible and has hinted that she might add her 15 year-old daughter, Vida Faye, to sweeten the offer.

"She's a purty gal like me," her mother said, "and she always aims to please."

Gmail, currently the hottest ticket on the Internet, is a free email account totaling 1000 megabytes of storage and is offered by search engine monarch, Google Inc. A highly sought-after prize for many netizens, Gmail has piqued surfer curiosity since it debuted in Beta to a select few. Presently, it is only available by invitation from Google or Gmail members. Invitations are also being auctioned on Ebay.

Although no one has responded to her offer, Vida Mae remains optimistic.

"I'm a hoping some kind soul sees fit to send me a Gmail invite soon," she said, "and did I mention that I'll throw in a box of Moon Pies?"

UPDATE: Gmail continues to be the most sought after email account on the planet. Those still left out of the loop, including Vida Mae, are praying daily for an invitation from someone already possessing an account. A website called GmailSwap states "Want to get a taste of the sweetest lil' net app this side of, uh, Google? There are two things to try: 1) Register, then add your plea to the looking-for-gmail Swap List - offer something neat (maybe just your eternal gratitude), and hope you'll find a kindly patron. 2) Browse the offering-gmail Swap List - maybe you've got something that an invitation-holder wants. Browse the looking-for-gmail Swap List and find a trade that sounds cool. Or if unpredictability bores you (humbug!), post on the offering-gmail Swap List, and explain exactly what you're looking for." Get yours today!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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