North Dakota ferrets are dying of the plague. Well meaning scientists have been trying to intervene to save the remaining ferrets but perhaps someone should look at this from a ferret's point of view. Thanks to new technology the spoofvet has been able to interpret ferret language after a recent encounter with the Save the Ferret science squad;
"This guy in a pick up truck zooms in my direction. I run home of course and then this long skinny thing descends into the hole with some mighty irresistible grub inside. So, what would you have done? I get into the cylinder to have a snack and before I know it I can't get out. Before long here comes ferrethunter. He sticks a needle in my butt! Paints my neck and sprays me with this gross cologne and lets me go home. I turn around and tell him to go fuck himself and don't you know he looks so self-satisfied like he's saving my life or something!
"And you expect us to believe you!? Your out half the night and you come home with your butt bleeding, your neck painted and smelling like a brewery ...you think your parents were born yesterday!?"