Written by Gary Diamond
Print this
Topics: explosion, Rabbits

Saturday, 12 July 2008

In a genetic experiment gone awry, a GM-positive white bunny rabbit, affectionally named Cuddles by the team that produced him, has gone missing from a high-security Government-funded facility located deep in Hampshire's New Forest region.

David McScienceing, chief of the once-covet heavily objectionable 'Animals As Assasins' project, took a press conferance earlier today and explained how such a dangerous animal could have escaped unnoticed.

"Sadly, as much as we enjoy playing God and tinkering around with nature, we aren't quite as careful as mainstream media would have you believe. Kenneth, one of our mentally retarded interns who had to be taken on under the 'Equal Opportunities' act, let Cuddles out of his heavily armoured cage. Cuddles, who was originally designed to take out political targets in Iraq so our forces can be unleashed on other defenceless countries, is armed to the teeth."

Statistics on the missing animal indicate that Cuddles has been turned into a killing machine, possessing the equivelant destructive yield of two mid-sized atom bombs. However, as the rabbit has not been programmed to take out a specific target, almost anything could set him off.

"If Cuddles is detonated, the loss of human life would be significant, destroying an area roughly the size of Manhattan." a worried McScienceing cautioned.

Tracking down the elusive but adorable mammal is causing local police several problems, as Cuddles was not fitted with a tracking device due to fears that it could be detected when he was deployed.

"We are heavily concerned about Cuddles as he has not been programmed with a trigger, such as a code word. Therefore we are advising extreme caution around any stray white bunny rabbits. Notify local authorities immediatly on sight."

There you have it. Now as well as food additives and cancer, you can add rabbits to the list of things to be wary of.

Make Gary Diamond's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

6 7 10 14
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more