Written by Fish
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Topics: Space, Earth, life, ET

Saturday, 28 June 2008

image for Phoenix Earth Lander Detects No Life On The Blue Planet
There Is No Life Here Say Venusian Scientists

Hades City Venus -- Disappointed scientists announced today there is no on extravenusian life on Earth. The space agency's ambitious Phoenix Earth Lander conducted several tests at the Blue Planet's equator and found the planet was sterile. Temperatures at Earth's equator only reach 140 degrees maximum. Scientists believe life can't exist at anything below 900 degrees.

Earth is sometimes referred to as Venus' twin because they are almost the same size. It has been locked in an Ice Age for at least 4 billion years, ever since its surface froze. The surface area is a frozen nightmare of mountains made of solid iron, lead and silica. Its pathetically thin atmosphere is filled with poisonous oxygen and nitrogen.

Excited scientists did confirm over 70% of the luckless planet is covered with "oceans" of deadly liquid dihydromonoxide (DHMO). Strange pools of the caustic liquid are found all over the planet and its polar areas are even covered with a rare solid form of the noxious compound.

Scientists were puzzled by complex carbon compounds that seem to infest Earth's DHMO oceans. Chemists believe carbon will combine with oxygen and nitrogen at very low temperatures. There are some wild theories about carbon based life. Any carbon life would be totally alien compared to the silicon life forms we have on Venus.

A probe may be sent later to investigate this strange discovery.

As far as we know Venus is the only place to support life. Its rich atmosphere of life-giving sulfuric acid and its surface of molten lead is just perfect for us! Everything else in the solar system is alien beyond our wildest imagination.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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