Houston TX-- Red-eyed NASA scientists glowed with pride today when they announced the first results from the Phoenix Mars Lander. The lander was sent to test the Red Planet's soil and it arrived last month. The results show the soil is full of nutrients and minerals. The soil also has the perfect pH for growing gigantic marijuana plants. Scientists think plants are growing underground.
"This is the ultimate soil for growing thick, sticky buds. Any pot growing in here is definitely Martian Devil Killer Weed, for sure!" said head scientist Dr. Buzz Allgrin. "You could just stick a marijuana plant in the soil and it would start growing." said Buzz.
Scientists used to think Mars was colored red because of iron oxide or rust. They now know the planet is covered with a fine, sticky resin. Marijuana plants have been growing underground for billions of years.
"You just get high thinking about it, don't you??" said Buzz. "Imagine how nice the air smells, can't wait to go there."