Airline executives are beginning to consider extreme measures to reduce the effects of spiraling fuel costs, according to Chin Tuh Phat the new CEO of China Aero (formerly American airlines, Delta, and Jet Blue).
"It is crucial to provide the flying public with dependable air service," said Mr Tuh Phat, "while continuing to pocket huge sums of cash."
After consultation with top Chinese engineers a decision has been made to implement several changes within the month.
The first being the installation of pedals in front of all passenger seats. The pedals are connected to the jet turbines and will assist the engines in the production of thrust. When asked, "What if the passengers don't want to pedal?" everyone laughed and stated, "that a catastrophic altitude drop would probably be a good motivator".
The next change is the introduction of a super low economy section. Passengers will bring their own lawn chairs and duct tape and be taped to the top of the wings. They will then be instructed to flap their arms like a birds wings as the planes take off.
Finally, new high efficiency led light bulbs will be installed and florescent paint will be applied to replace landing lights. This will cause more power to be converted to thrust and the plane to be more earth friendly- and to please Al Gore who kind of scares everyone. Not to mention that China Aero is also a major stockholder of GE.