Chimpologists studying the female chimpanzee sexual response have discovered something truly amazing. The ladies are faking it! After recording literally kilometers of tape of female chimps caught in flagrante delicto, researchers have unanimously concluded that the primate's orgasmic screams are for the benefit of nearby listeners.
Chimp researcher, Dr Humphrey Monk told eager listeners at the FCC (The Fucking Chimp Conference) that as far as he could tell these copulating chimps were putting on a show for the surrounding community:" The poor males walk away feeling so proud of their little selves but the ladies are right back out there looking for fresh meat."
British and US TV networks have been bidding desperately for Dr Monk's tapes:" We think that this would make a cherry of a reality show!" commented TV guru Goo Roo," Just think! It's a kind of a mélange of Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City and The Monkees!"