Written by Midgetgems

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Topics: Research, Gravity

Monday, 16 June 2008

image for Gravity is wrong
The sub-atomic antipotion still needs some refinement to reduce nuclear fallout

New research suggests that the forces of gravity may not be due to the Earth's inner core consisting of dragon's blood as has long been thought.

Cornish scientists have now discovered that sub-atomic particles of tin and iron have at some stage been applied to fairies to form a 'cloak of invisibility' so that naughty 'piskies' are able to secretly exert downward pressure on everything to stop it flying.

During a demonstration at Truro University skeptics were dumbfounded to note that the equation (N-?=Mc?+???) formed the basis of a reconstruction of Newton's early apple experiment. They were then shown the bodies of some freshly captured and squished naughty fairy specimens and asked to wait outside while the theory was demonstrated to an audience of interested delegates.

It is thought that once the process of harvesting the sub-atomic particles is complete, an 'antipotion' will be developed so that 'after a smearing ritual people will be able to choose to fly on any object of their choosing'. The commercial applications are thought to be unlimited and a much-needed boost to the economic development of the area is expected.

"This is great news for the area" said Dreamwillow Greene, MP for Tredabbly South. "We'll be able to reduce our carbon emissions as people take to their anvils instead of clogging up the A30. Bring it on!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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