Written by Pointer
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Topics: STDs

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

image for Horseshoe Crabs: Latest Terrible STD!
STD genital snail are quite smaller and less troublesome than the genital horseshoe crab infestation

Limulus Polyphemus or Horseshoe crab has been on earth much longer than the dinosaur and fossils found in Manitoba, Canada suggest that the odd creature has not changed for 446 million years. The one-eyed (thus Homer's Cyclops, Polyphemus) round shelled and prong tailed creature has fascinated naturalists for centuries. Its one eye has helped vision experts and its blue blood has explained copper rather than iron blood stream oxidation.

The domed shell provides housing and transportation for 20 different species. All this has been well and good until the 80,000 egg laying monstrosity began recently to be sexsually transmitted. Epidemiologists suspect that one or more of the many eggs became attached to the genitals of a fisherman using the crab for either bait or a sex partner.

Genital crabs have been infecting humans for centuries. The pubic lice are miniscule and cause little more than some itching and a spot of blood. This new kind of genital parasite is a totally different story. Sexsual educator, Scarem Outasex explained:" Imagine pulling down the pants of your prospective lover and finding a female horse shoe crab with a spiny shell of 8-12 inch diameter. You then see the long telon and a smaller male latching on the female for dear life. That'll put a damper on your love life, mate!"

More optimistic scientists suggest that the tens of thousands of eggs could be the next caviar. They say that the crab is harmless and that couples should enjoy the Polyphemal caviar with some pink champagne. They do warn that the 12 inch telon could inadvertently whip around and knock your eye out while you enjoy the tasty crab eggs, if you are not careful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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