Written by tonybee
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Friday, 30 May 2008

image for New report says that rocket science is easy
Simple arithmetic harder than rocket science

Boffins at CERN have released the results of over two years of painstaking research to reveal that, contrary to popular belief, rocket science is not as complicated as most people think.

A CERN spokesperson commented on the news, "We have spent a lot of, time, effort and tax payers money on this programme of research and we think we can categorically put an end to the use of all those phrases that end in 'it's not rocket science'

"The truth is, rocket science is not as hard as, for example, Quantum Physics, or open heart surgery, or even completing your tax return

"After two years of work, we can reveal that the hardest thing we have discovered is how to fill in our CERN research grant application forms.

Meanwhile, scientists at NASA and the European Space Agency have strongly criticised the report, claiming that in their learned opinions that it is a load of old bollocks. However, NASA scientists have failed in a bid to secure funding for research to prove that rocket science is difficult and restore their reputations as very clever people. A spokeperson for the US government claimed that while the research was viable, the government could not fund a project with such a poorly filled in research grant application form.

Those fun loving eggheads are CERN will now turn their attention to a programme of research to categorically prove once and for all that the the European Parliament does actually do something of use. However, the programme is dependant upon securing a European Union grant of 1.5billion euros.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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