Microsoft founder and milker, Bill Gates, today announced that his company was raising the price of Windows XP to $100.
'I know it's not popular', he said, 'but we have bribes to pay in Washington, like everybody else.'
A spokesman for NERD, the National European Ripoff Diskcompany, said: 'Mr. Gates has ripped us off for years, now it's time for us to go round to his house, and argue about Apple Macs with him.'
And speaking from another planet, Noam Chomsky said: 'Hey, Windows XP is so bad, I had to invent another planet to live on.'
Microsoft shares fell slightly today, to $4,555 each.