Written by Don Davis
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Topics: Pope, God, Monkey

Monday, 5 May 2008

image for Pope Admits "God is a Monkey"

(AP Rome) - Amongst speculation that our entire universe is just a child's science project gone awry the Pope announced to a throng of thousands at the Vatican that "God is a Monkey and Darwin was right".

Scientists at America's Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) have theorized that our universe may not be what we think it is. The JPL claims photos from their exploration probe Giovanni reveal a giant "GE" at the center of the sun. This fuels speculation that our sun is just a giant light bulb that may be turned off one day.

Many renowned scientists have long believed our universe to be no more than a child's science project. Dr. Boris Balinkoff believes "it's possible our entire universe is in an aquarium sitting on a desk in a little boy's bedroom. When his mama calls him to dinner BOOM! Our sun goes out and we die".

To counter this argument that we're living in an aquarium like Hamsters Pope Benedict explains "Darwin was right in that we evolved from the Monkey he just didn't realize that God is also a Monkey. In Genesis 27 the bible states 'So God created man in his own image yada yada yada' thus, God is a Monkey and we've evolved from there". He also went on to explain that's why Banana's are the perfect fruit and why we put them in everything.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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