Always looking for a way to kick start the weak economy and always hot on the heels of the newest methods to combat crime, the California legislature has passed a law to allow police departments to train squads of psychics and swear them in as full time police officers.
The new laws that people can be arrested for whatever they are thinking can only be enforced by someone that knows what kind of evil thoughts everyone is thinking. Experts agree, only psychics can be sure to know what people are planning to do wrong.
The economy is getting a real shot in the arm. New jobs are created. New fines are being paid. The erroneous BS of these unconstitutional thought crime laws are helping to fill up the courts with all kinds of lawsuits and that's just more money all the way around. Lawyers, Judges, Cops, Jails, Administrative persons, etc., all benefit and all these people will be spending money. It's a win-win situation, we get the would -be criminal off the streets and put more money out there.
Jolbert Dillywacker was arrested as he came out of the theater on 4th street in Santa Comatosa California last night. He had just watched the movie, "Choke Me, I'm Not Choking" and he was still thinking about the scene in the movie where a young man chokes his little sister in order to get her off the computer so he could use it. A psychic police officer zoned in on Jolbert's vibes from across the street and read his aura and knew something was amiss. When the officer approached Dillywacker, the officer knew right then that he was going to choke someone. Officer Sgt, Parma N. Yoider immediately tazered, maced, and wrestled Dillywacker to the ground, and cuffed the unconscious pre-offender.
Jolbert Dillywacker is now doing hard time and his little sister can use the computer all she wants and feel safe that her brother will not kill her. Though, Sgt. Parma N. Yoider did say that Ms. Dillywacker will get hit by falling debris from outer space tomorrow night that will kill her but at least a crime wasn't committed that might have been.
If you are psychic and want to apply for a job as a psychic police officer you should already know the number to call and who to ask for.