Written by David Hawkins
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Topics: Computers

Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Darfur-Built PC's Just Monkey With A Chisel
"This Idea Is Way ahead of it's time"

The computer giant Ledd recently built two new factories in Darfur Africa to keep up with tough competition in the tech sector by hiring refugees from the genocide there.

In an effort to lower production costs and help snuff out an ongoing humanitarian crisis, Ledd hired over 100 illiterate, homeless, suffering, starving, half-dead people to work at their factories for a bowl of rice a day each. When the world rice shortage crisis occurred last month and there was no more food, the pace of production slowed and the workers started using very ingenious ways of their own to cut costs and cut corners.

The building of the new factories coincided with the release of a top-of-the-line gaming desktop, the prototype of which blew away the speed of anything in it's class. However, when unboxed, a shipment of over 300 computers were found to run rather slow and make strange noises. They also smelled very bad.

Upon opening the cases, what was revealed was something out of a Flintstones cartoon of the 1960's. Customers found in each computer, a little monkey with a chisel and a stone tablet. Everything that was typed on the keyboard - the monkey would chisel into the stone tablet just like Wilma Flintstone's typewriter on the Flintstones cartoons of 40 years ago.

Needless to say, these won't work for games and will barely work as a word processor of the most primative kind. No software is compatible with a monkey and a chisel and stone tablet, but as these quickly become collector's items, several have been seen selling on eBay for over $10,000.00.

PETA The Pugelistic Environmentaltards Association has filed a class-action lawsuit against the company alleging animal abuse rights and manufacturer's warranty issues.

Ledd CEO Blurt Chairwhimsey believes they will win the lawsuit and if they do then Ledd will be marketing the new computers as word processors for areas of the globe with no electricity and for disaster areas with no power.

Chairwhimsey said, "Just because you don't have power doesn't mean you should have to write everything with a pen when you can get a monkey and a chisel. It's a multi-million dollar idea that was way ahead of it's time and we are just capitalizing on the brilliance and inginuety of the Darfur refugees. We will give them credit of course."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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