Written by Bullshattuck
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Topics: Utah, MySpace

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

image for Myspace registration mandatory for Utah residents by 2011

In what is sure to become a controversial new bill, the Utah State Senate passed a bill last Thursday requiring MySpace registration for all Utah residents by 2011. The bill is a sweeping attempt at cracking down on counterfeit driver's licenses and identifications.

Utah will become the first state in the U.S. to require all residents to be registered through MySpace. A similar law was passed in 2005 in the Netherlands.

By registering through MySpace, the popular website will allow Utah residents in everything, from voting registration and state income tax returns, to keeping track of one's top eight friends and comments featuring uploaded YouTube mashup videos of Gargamel vs. the girl robot from Small Wonder vs. Iran.

The bill will also double as a deterrent to illegal immigrants from Mexico who wish to make a permanent home in Utah but are unfamiliar with "el Internet."

The disputed bill has already received heated attention from political opponents.

A main proponent of the bill, who was also a chief sponsor of a bill requiring proof of citizenship to allow Utah residents to vote, has received considerable criticism from both pro-illegal immigration groups and anti-MySpace groups.

He commented, "I don't understand what the big deal is. In one clean swoop Utah is simultaneously protecting America's borders, as well as offering a way to upload slutty pictures. Seems like a win-win situation to me."

The Senator wouldn't respond to claims that some consider MySpace to be 'a waste of time,' or that 'not everyone has a computer.'

The Attorney General stated that he felt the bill would benefit Utah on the whole. "You wouldn't let someone drive without a driver's license. You wouldn't hire someone without a social security number. Requiring all Utah residents to be registered through MySpace just seemed like the next logical step in the evolution of identification."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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