Though there is no proof of primogeniture, and all searches for a so-called Garden of Eden have turned up nothing, biblical archaeologists from the Church of JC of the Golden Shovel claim to have discovered a matching pair of fig leaves right in the merger of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers in war torn Iraq.
Pubic hair traces on the leaves are being tested for DNA to see if they are in fact the pubic hair fragments from first parents Adam and Eve.
When asked how the church scientists hope to match the DNA to ancient people who may be mythical characters and for whom no one has a DNA sample, Golden Shovel Church leader Mama Mia Papa Pia shook his mitered head in disbelief: "O ye of little faith. How many people wear fig leaves over their genitals? G-strings, jock straps, pocket pussies, glad sandwich bags, yeah, maybe. But fig leaves?
"This will be absolute proof of the Biblical account of human creation if these are pubic hairs. If they are just fig leaf fuzz, or evidence of Bush's WMD's, then we will return to our sacred search."