Written by Fish
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Topics: Mobile Phones

Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Woman Owns 1500 Cell Phones
"Oh, it's you, never mind I'm on the phone, gotta go..."

(Philadelphia PA) A woman in Philadelphia has been diagnosed as the worst cell phone addict in history. Dianne Bell has 1500 cell phones that she carries with her and talks on 24 hours a day.

Ms. Bell wears the cell phones in rotating belts around her torso and each arm and leg. The phones are color coded and have different shapes depending on which of her 1,500 closest friends has the number. The phones ring constantly and the decibel level is like an airliner. The ring-tone is always the theme from "The Twilight Zone".

Ms. Bell explained her addiction to TheSpoof.com from her mental hospital room in a short interview.

"Well it started"--ring--"oh it's you, never mind, I'm on the phone and gotta go--ring-- "oh it's you, never mind, I'm on the phone and gotta go--ring--"oh it's you, never mind, I'm on the phone and gotta go--ring--"oh it's you, never mind, I'm on the phone.........."

The interview only lasted for three words but that's not unusual, according to her therapist, Dr. Sigmoid Colon:

"The only solution is to cut off her tongue", said the therapist. "She hasn't stopped talking since 1999. Her 1500 friends that also call her seem to have the same psychosis. We may be on the verge of a major pandemic of insanity!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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