TheSpoof.com has learned that the US Transportation Security Association (TSA), also known as the Tourette Syndrome Association, are to introduce Body Odour recognition for airline passengers, in addition to the current fingerprint, thumbprint, palm geometry, face, retina and iris recognition technologies.
TSA Assistant Administrator for Inappropriate Use of Technology, Mike Golden, said "We know that terrorists live in caves so they must smell," adding, "Bastards, Fucking Bastards, SHIT!"
Questioned about the accuracy of using Body Odour technology, he added "We know it's not that accurate and we'll probably end up picking out other smelly people, but they'll most probably be French, so we're not that bothered!" then adding "SMELLY BASTARDS, shit, BASTARDS!"
Airlines are said to be horrified at the development and think that it's a step too far. A spokeswoman for American Airlines, who asked not to be identified, said "Everyone stinks when they come off of one of our dirty planes, especially after a long flight."