Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 9 April 2008

image for Badger Cull Would Be A Mistake, Say Badger Lovers
The real enemy

A widespread cull of badgers to attempt to combat the spread of bovine Tuberculosis in Wales would be a mistake, say animal lovers, and could lead to the end of civilsation as we know it.

Badgers-R-Us, a conservation group, claim that eradicating the harmless little cuties with the black and white striped noses, would, indeed, avoid so many cattle deaths, and in so doing, would increase the numbers of cattle. Herein lies the problem.

A spokesman for the group says that by increasing the numbers of healthy cattle, the government is overpopulating the countryside with cows, and running the risk of an environmental and social disaster unseen on these shores since the Black Death.

Geraint Cooper of Badgers-R-Us, told The Spoof:

"We're going to see marauding herds of cows displaced from their normal habitat wandering into school playgrounds and stampeding through shopping centres. They'll destroy property and chew people's lawns, and eat crops and children. It's going to be mayhem. Please, leave badgers alone."

Labour spokesman on Agriculture, Lord Tithe, said:

"I have a major interest in beef farming, and badgers in Wales will be eradicated."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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