Written by Pointer
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Wednesday, 2 April 2008

image for Roller Coasters: the Refuge of Cheap Thrill Seekers
Psychologists find that roller coasters are cheap thrills

Amusement park researchers have discovered that avid fans of roller coasters are cheap thrill seekers.

Dr Disney Summer interviewed thousands of Roller Coaster crazies and his findings reveal that roller coasters are just substitutes for the fear of submitting oneself to the ordeal of boring marriages that make you want to claw your eyes out, monotonous jobs that drive you to drink, drug and commit acts of brazen delinquency. These loop the loop loonies prefer their artificial defiance of death to mountain-climbing, cliff diving and hang gliding, activities where you could poke your eye out or really get yourself killed.

Controlled attempted suicide syndrome is the name Dr Summer is giving to the compulsion to strap yourself from head to toe and be locked up in safety bars and cages so you can be hurtled at ridiculous speeds and thrown up and down until you throw up and down your lunch, supper and yesterday's Egg McMuffin in total safety.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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