Written by Dan Bristol
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Sunday, 2 May 2004

image for New Study Reveals That Explosions Are Cool
Explosions, Like This One, Are Cool

Boomer, Wyoming - A scientific study, published by the National Institute for Blowing Things Up, indicates that explosions are cool.

"We, like blew up stuff," said lead researcher Dr. Jim Bob Bodacious. "It was really cool." Dr. Bodacious then demonstrated for Spoof reporters by lighting a fire cracker and tossing it into a can of gasoline.

According to the study, "You can, like, throw firecrackers at gasoline cans to make them blow up. It's freakin' cool." Researchers Dr. Tom "Hud" Borkan and Dr. Bobby Bedingle performed an experiment where twelve rusted pickup trucks were dynamited. The results are reported to have been "freakin' cool, man. The trucks, like, jumped up in the air and went ‘KA-BOOM'!"

The three lead researchers have broken explosions down to three basic catgories:

1. Cool, for small firecrackers and M-80's without the use of accelerants.

2. Freakin' Cool, for explosions involving gasoline and most common accelerants.

3. Wicked Cool, such as when an A-bomb goes off.

The Bush Administration has reportedly sent investigators to meet with Bodacious, Borkan, and Bedingle to determine the possible military applications of blowing stuff up. Defense officials in Washington, speaking on condition of anonymity, had no comment.

It is unclear at this time whether other scientists will follow the lead of Boomer's Bodacious, Borkan, and Bedingle. However, according to Bodcaious, "we're gonna go over to Hud's place later and, like, blow stuff up. His mom just got rid of an old washing machine and Bob just got some M-80's."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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