Glaxo-Overdose have announced today that their new Lynx "Rampant", the new fragrance for "Old men", has been removed from circulation following a complaint by all 40 members of the focus group initially employed to try out the new product.
Jim Sprat of Safton-warden was on of the volunteers who tried out the deodorant."It had a pleasant enough whiff to begin with," says Jim, a retired football designer. "But after a week or so I began to notice earthworms in my property, normally this wouldn't be so unusual, but I live at the top of a tower block!"
After a fortnight Mr Sprat's bachelor pad was coated in worms. "They were everywhere, 3 foot deep on the carpet. . . and horny too, the little buggers all seemed to be humping"
Other members of the trial group were also suffering the same fate, Lance Bauhaus, a freelance toilet cleaner was forced to take time off from work. "I was besieged, the worms were everywhere, and having to beat off the crows that were trying to eat them, and they were horny, sooo horny."
Jackson Pocketsquare, the head of glaxo-overdose's science and insects division made the controversial decision to pull the product from public sale. "Unfortunately the new spray hasn't road-tested as well as we predicted, a chemical by product of human sweat and the Lynx Rampant secret smell seems to attract large quantities of eathworms, which I don't have to tell you, can make one hell of a mess, not to mention the environmental factors"
Mr Pocketsquare has since been put to work designing new products to make various creatures horny!