Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 1 March 2008

image for Next Earthquake May Split The Earth In Half, Warn Scientists
Imagine a line right down the middle...

Another earthquake of a similar magnitude to that experienced in the UK this week, could split the Earth in two, say barmy scientists.

The Earth, they say, is going through volatile and unprecedented changes, and is extremely prone to another major quake, which could rip through the planet's unstable core, and tear it into two, or more, separate pieces. This, it's claimed, would have a dramatic effect on property prices.

The claim, made by boffins at the UK Earthquake Research Institute in Harrogate, comes after an earthquake registering 5.2 on the Richter scale, which rocked many ares of the UK, causing dogs to bark, and several rickety windows to rattle in their frames.

The researchers say that "the time is ripe" for another event on a bigger scale that would "significantly effect life in this country", and that people should prepare an emergency survival pack, just in case the Earth cracks open.

It's not clear exactly what would happen if the Earth split in two, but you can be sure that you wouldn't need to go to work on Monday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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