Written by Ben Macnair
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Sunday, 17 February 2008

image for Animal Products are not a great hit
What do you mean my hair smells of people?

Workers in a Swedish laboratory have decided that a new range of Animal Products probably won't be that successful.

Products such as 'Hampoo' and 'Muttons' are to be marketed, but as such there has been no up-take for these new products.

Jurgens Smith III told us: 'We put so much work into these products, but they did not grab the attention of the wider public. We spent a good deal of tax payers money inventing a hair product, that we called 'Hampoo' that made people's hair smell like Bacon. We often heard how people love the smell of Bacon first thing in the morning, but I suppose that they don't want that all day.

'We also had people who said that they wanted to keep food about them at all times, so if they were ever stuck in a lift, or their cars broke down at Midnight, they would not be starving. We thought that using Mutton, shaped and used as Buttons would be the thing to do, but that did not really appeal either'.

Scientists are looking into how to make Cows out of Shoes. A lot of shoes are made from cows, so we did not really know how that would work either.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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