Written by Jesus Budda

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Wednesday, 13 February 2008

image for Scientists Isolate Gay Gene
Gene, pictured here with his twin brother Paul

Scientists at the Stanford Homosexual Institute of Technology (S.H.I.T) have isolated Gene, their prank-loving overtly homosexual co-worker, from an important symposium set to take place at their laboratory this week.

"I'm afraid we had no choice", said Head of research Professor Finkelstein, "Gene was a massive liability. His nerve gas 'stunt' last month could have cost us dearly. If I hadn't noticed the bucket filled with Sarin nerve gas above the door someone could have got seriously hurt".

Gene, 34, has a PHD in CWBW (Chemical and Biological Warfare) and other advanced technical stuff, but he's widely known as the 'gayest' scientist on campus.

"Sometimes he comes to work dressed like Cher, which is embarrassing to most of us other guys", said the Professor, "this weeks symposium is really important to this facility. We need the grants badly and want to present ourselves as the foremost gay scientific laboratory in the World. Gene could blow it for all of us with his campness. That's why we've had to put him in the isolation tank 'til it's over".

It's believed that the final straw came when Gene planned to detonate a 5-megaton Anthrax bomb nicknamed "Dorothy" at the opening of the symposium but his roommate Dave discovered his cheeky plan.

"Gene is always game for a laff", said Dave, "but I thought he went a little too far this time around. A bit of itching powder down the scientists coats, yes. But anthrax is overkill, isn't it"".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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