Written by Mark Lowton
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Topics: NASA, Beatles, Yoko Ono

Friday, 1 February 2008

image for NASA Hires Yoko Ono as Intergalactic Operator
"Could you play some S Club 7?"

Following news that NASA will broadcast Beatles songs across the universe, renowned piss-artist, Yoko Ono, has stepped up to the fore to rally support for intergalactic communication.

"I see this as the beginning of the new age in which we will communicate with billions of planets across the universe," declared the obviously touched Ono.

So keen was the deranged Jap to assist NASA in their plight, she insisted they must employ her to operate the switchboard.

NASA were happy to oblige the ailing fruitcake and have constructed her a small cabin, with all modern conveniences, and a special telephone which accepts incoming calls from space. So should ET phone, she'll be the first to know.

There is little hope for Ono succeeding in her mission to talk with the aliens. Considering that the most likely place to harbour life is at least 250 light years away from our planet Earth, conversation could prove tricky.

"At least she'll be out of trouble," said a John Lennon fan. Joyfully adding, "and out of the public eye for good!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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